Cous Klem

Mada and I are taking our first holiday together - well, more of a 'mini break' over to Norway next weekend to visit A&F for 4 days 3 nights. I really can't wait! Having booked the trip nearly six months ago, it felt like it was never going to come and now it's finaly (nearly) here! I can't wait to see 2 of my bestest friends from KL and for them to meet the love of my life too. Also, just to have some time away, just me and my man. It's going to be great :o)

Things are looking up again - or is it just PMA?

The weekend gave me sometime to think/ talk over how I was feeling and start afresh. With the support of my friends and family, it worked. I'm a firm believer that with PMA (positive mental attitude) comes positivity in your surroundings. Of course, it is hard to FEEL positive when you feel really low, so every now and then we just have to suck it up and suffer the consequences if we choose to be downbeat!

Already this week I managed to create some pretty good promos on Adobe (awaiting feedback!) and have been told that as part of my promotional work I'm doing on Saturday I will also get to do two on air links - joy! So I have effectively killed two birds with one stone - extra money and on air exposure. Sure it'll be just a minute or two but better than none!

I think this opportunity was given to me on the basis that my colleague who organises the promotional workers heard some of my "on air" work when we had "radio experience" last week, which is where effectively, you produce and record a "live" show - except it doesn't go on air. I got the role of "Showbiz Reporter" and have to say, sounded pretty nifty - or so everyone keeps telling me! I love Mada's face when he hears it, he just beams, he's so proud, bless. If only it were real!!

Baby steps, fingers crossed it all goes well for me on Saturday! The only way is up!

Year End

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and our last day of work before Christmas. We finish at 1 and then will be in and out of the office until 4th Jan. The majority of time I'll be off though - yeh!

I didn't get the promotion, despite feeling like i was led to believe that I would do by my manager. I feel OK about it as I know I'll get there in time but at the same time can't help but feel like I've let both myself and Mada down.

I guess we'll just have to work extra hard at saving to get our house next year. We WILL have our house by next year. I'll make sure of it!

I'll be wrapping all my Christmas presents tonight and I'm excited to do so, especially my presents for Mada which I have put so much thought into - I hope he likes them.

Last night a few of us went for dinner at The Bee. Although pricey, the place has undergone a complete revamp and the food was AMAZING.

I love Christmas time, so much time to spend with friends and family. The best parts being midnight mass tomorrow night, waking up next to Mada and sharing Christmas day with my whole family - yay!

To 2010! Woho!

Happiness is Divine!

As the old saying goes - time flies when you're having fun.

I can't seem to breathe for a spare second at the moment but I will not complain one bit. I'm probably the happiest I have felt in a long time, maybe a few years. That's not to say I haven't had good times in the last few years (because I most certainly have) but I would say that overall I have a better balance - with happy times majorly out weighing any bad times.

Love is good. Work is good. And these are the two things that have been tiresomely bothering to me over the last year or so. That's really why I started full time blogging in the first place.

I feel like there is constantly so much to write about and catch up on - I see people in the streets and think how what i saw would make a funny or interesting entry. I feel a flutter in my heart or a niggle in my belly but by the time i get round to writing the moment has passed and the passionate ideas i had conjured up - disappeared. Oh well!

Now I'm working I'm trying to re balance all the important things in my life. Friendship for one has taken a backdrop. My first week I was exhausted and mentally retarded by 6pm so I didn't work out or see anyone all week (I know, shock horror!), last week, I managed to get to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This week, I hope for the same work outs and also see BD on Tuesday and maybe another friend over the weekend.

Gradually in time I hope I can balance it all again.

It was so fabulous to finish work on Friday at 5.30 on the dot, grab the early train home without a worry in the world and knowing that some of my work for Monday had already been done and I only needed to client "send" this morning. Wow, you can't imagine the feeling!!

As the rentals have been on holiday Mada and I have made use of the alone time. Of course there has been lots of sexy time but more importantly it's been great, cooking together, chilling out in our PJ's and just feeling relaxed together. He was also a little distress after my first week in work as he saw me so much less - same amount of days, but less hours, so we rectified that this weekend.

As something nice, I took him to London Zoo on Saturday and we had such a laugh together - i have decided my new favourite animal is the Meerkat - so funny to watch! We followed that by taking a visit to China Town where he tried dim sum for the first time and LOVED it - I was so delighted! Planning to ask BD and Chris to come with us next time for the complete works. We came home and ate chocolate and drank milk in bed - perfect. HaHa! It was probably the nicest weekend I've had since I've been back. Sunday night all the cousins and partners got together at my cousin's house, it was a really nice, relaxed evening.

Well, must get on with what I'm paid to do - work to be done, but only just enough to keep me busy for the whole day ;o) Again, I shall not complain - for now! I have my first 121 with my manager at 2pm - fingers crossed it goes well. I think it will ;o)

Forever Friends

I'm sorry I couldn't take your call
I'm sorry you had to talk to silence
I'm sorry you felt so alone


I'm sorry I live a million miles away
I'm sorry I can't give you a hug
I'm sorry I can't be the best friend you need

For what it's worth, I'll never be sorry I met you, only sorry that it wasn't sooner and that I couldn't take you with me

xoxo

You're not my (Facebook) friend

About a year a go, a friend (who i considered to be once, very close to)"removed" me as a friend. How might you ask, can someone "remove" you as a friend? Did she phase you out? Stop texting you? Never call? Never join you for a drink at Starbucks? Well, yes, all of those things, but then, one day (whilst facebook stalking her) I realised, I had been removed, deleted, erased.

At the time I was completely upset by the matter, but truth be told, the girl had been acting kinda strangely and there were some things going on in her life which I believe lead her to disconnect herself from not only me, but many people in her life. So after some time, I built my bride, cried the river and got over it. Done and dusted.

But just the other day I too had reason to remove a "friend". I put friend in inverted commas because it was a guy I met about 3 and a half years ago when I first moved to Hong Kong. We met through an Ex-pat Group and hung out maybe a few times (a few nights out on the piss, bowling with a group of friends, maybe a hike and a coffee) and then he moved back to the UK.

Of course, about 6 months later Facebook evolved and soon people from her, there, past, present, contacted me to be a "friend". So initially, like most people, I was suddenly "friends" with people from school who I hadn't seen in 5 years, girls from my dance school, who I hadn't seen for 10, long distant family members I had never even met... (whoooole other story). And of course, the HK chappy, requested to add me and I so kindly obliged by "accepting".

Over the last few years he would occasionally write on my wall, comment on a photo or status which was fine, but after a while it began to annoy me. Comments like "oh how i miss your lovely smile" when I thought to myself, do you really, actually miss my smile? I mean, do you actually sit and think "Gosh, I really miss her smile today". I probably never even smiled at you anyway! And making strange comments on my status about my personal life which to be fair, he knew nothing about, was kinda.. icky.

So I thought to myself, do you know what, I'll just delete him as a friend, whilst "filtering" my friends last week, and removing people I have now realised probably only added me to have a nose in the first place. So I did it. I thought he probably wouldn't notice. I mean, I have over 300 friends, I really wouldn't notice if someone I hadn't seen in years didn't come up on my news feed. Well, now I have filtered, they wouldn't be on there anyway.

But low and behold this morning I have a friend request, from HIM with a personal message that reads "You deleted me. Sniff sniff :(". WTF?

Firstly, I realise he must have actually been stalking me (as suspected) to notice that I deleted him within a few days of doing so and secondly, why would you reduce yourself to asking someone to re-add you AFTER they have deleted you?

Now, you may be thinking "what a complete bitch" but truth be told, I don't really care what you think but now of course i am stuck with what to do. Do I message him back and say, look, i found some of the things you wrote on my facebook a bit insulting/ weird/ rude/ stalkeresque OR do I re-add him with a "Whoops! My bad!" and add him with a privacy setting so he can never comment again (dammit, should have done that the first time round!) OR do I just ignore his request??

In reality (yes, the real world, where real friendships actually exist where you can't just DELETE some one with the click of a button, try as you might) the chances of me seeing him ever again are slim to none and, I don't WANT to BE his friend... so how?

Please advise. How would you feel if someone you only met half a dozen times and will never see again DELETED you? Quite frankly, I couldn't give a toss. Am I a bitch? Yeh, maybe.

I'm on KRAC

I meant to write about this sooner, but didn't get round to it, which is pretty lame really considering I'm unemployed (yes, still).

To keep me occupied, to spend time with friends and improve my training plan for the half marathon in September I set up a running club with my friends.

On Saturday I managed to rally up 6 of the 12 "members" and we did the 5 mile course around Virginia Waters. It really was fun.

My boy and billy went ahead, with Shrub and I following behind and Butdunc and her man shortly after us. Butdunc's other half carried a video camera around most of the way to record us "in action" - haha can't wait to see how that came out!

Shrub and I beat our personal best by 1min 30, completing the 5 miles in 38.30 mins. The boys beat us by 6 mins and Butdunc and her other half followed shortly behind.

Afterwards we went for a fantastic brunch at this really quaint/ semi posh cafe in Sunningdale. I had a bagel with scrambled egg, avocado and roasted peppers - it was delicious!

I had so much fun. It felt good to do something "normal" with friends, it made me feel settled in my life again. I hope we can all go again soon, I'm gonna push for this Sunday... but we'll see the reaction ;)

On the up, Mada has agreed to do the New York Marathon (Nov 2010) with me. After going on and on about wanting to go to NY and not being able to afford it this year, we're gonna try and kill 2 birds with one stone next year - how utterly awesome???

Dance like Cheryl Cole

Have you got that Boom Boom POW? or are you a HEARTBREAKER?

Last night my Sister and I went to our first dance class at StreetDanceUK in Reading (I think, I need to double confirm with her) and it was awesome.

The class costs £4.50 and is 1 hour (although with warm up/ cool down you're looking at 45mins max). There were only 4 of us (including ourselves) that attended the class and we were walked through a routine to, my current fdavourite tune, Boom Boom Pow, by the Black Eyed Peas.

The pace was good, the teacher was thorough, friendly and although a great dancer, not intimidating. We had a blast. Of course, we only learnt about 30 seconds worth of the routine, but these steps are fast moving and take time and practice to get it right.

I was pleasently surpised with how well I managed the moves, most of which were odd body pops and shapes which i tend to throw on the dance floor anyway (Bombie can vouch for that, hehe).

Halfway through my Sister turned to me and said, I don't feel like I'm getting the sexiness of it - I told her to untie her hair, even if you can't get the steps right, throwing your sexy long hair about and popping your hips looks pretty hawt anyway.

Am TOTALLY going next week, another hobby added to the list.

Feeling Blue

I feel really, really down today and I don't know why...

Job hunting is progressing, Mada and I are doing well, I'm on the way to getting a car and I even ran 10 miles in 1hour 29mins with my sister today.

Maybe it's lack of sleep, every night this week I've been at Mada's and we've just been up until about 3am each time talking about us, the past, the future. It's amazing how well you can know some one but still, there is so much more to learn.

Maybe we talked too much about my past, Mada knows about my history but talking about it all kinda brought it all back, so maybe that's why I have plummeted down. But he was so lovely and wanted to understand more about it. I'm never scared to talk to him, just takes me a while to open up, and I will, in time and he knows that.

I'm sure a good meal and bottle of wine (with Mada and friends) and a good night's sleep will help. We're of to an Italian Restaurant in Virginia Waters - very nice place.

Our friends have just bought their house together so we are having a little celebration.

You've been Tangoed?

My sister is training to be a beautician and got her qualification up in London today to perform "Fake Bake". Some how, I have been "volunteered" as her first "practice" client on Saturday.

Whilst I don't really mind (it's my Sister, you do these things for them) I am kinda still nicely tanned from Vietnam and well, if things go wrong, I could be looking rather, um, orange.

Oh well, it only lasts a week and it's safer than getting skin cancer... I guess.

:)

Chi Sin Gweilo!!

A few close friends went to an "Asian Fusion" restaurant on Friday night. As it transpires all of the staff were of a Chinese Descent.

Suddenly my friend pipes up with "Chi sin gweilo!" and i burst out laughing! Everyone turned to me saying, what, what did he say?? Through hysterics (as my friend has even been to any Chinese speaking country) I said, he just called me a crazy man!

One thing led to another and before i knew it, i was rolling out one word profanities and one liners to my friends. So every time we got served, one opf them would say "mg goi" or "gum xia" or "xia xia" Wahaha.

The waiting staff were in hysterics and word soon got round that the (drunken) foursome at the end of the restaurant spoke Cantonese and other Chinese dialects. It just so happened that fortunately enough, I could understand EVERYTHING that the restaurant manager said! So when I replied with "Hoe sik" my friends were DESPERATE to know what we were saying :)

Next I got Bombies on the phone (poor girl, I was hammered, she had probably just got up) and had her translating on the phone for me - WHAT a hoot!

The rest of the weekend continued in a similar fashion, with playing Wii at the boy's house and travelling up to Oxford to go to Bicester Village to look at discount designers. I came back with a lip gloss (MAC) and a heavy heart after trying on a dress reduced from £600 to £200 that I HAD to say no to :(



~ the candy stripped one... sigh...

In the evening we all went for Curry, a buffet for all you can eat £12.95. I gave up with Tamil. I only know "Venakam" ;)

Weekend Anthem...

Fluffy Pink Clouds

Whilst on the subject of "happiness" Mada is playing the role of "boyfriend" extremely well. Starting with saving my life last night after an upset at home, which resulted in his requirement of a rescue. And then, by calling me about an hour before my appointment this morning and wishing me luck - good lad ;)

Yesterday we had a BBQ around my friends house and Mada's best friend and I (also one of my good friends) had a D&M. Haha. They are all so happy over our "relationship" and I am too.

Things are going from strength to strength, starting with a surprise party that him, Butdunc and Shrub organised for me on Saturday and then the BBQ yesterday.

Last night I couldn't stop cuddling him tight and smiling, I am so happy that we are FINALLY together. He keeps saying "it just feels natural, doesn't it?" I have to say, i totally agree. I am one happy bunny. It feels good, to feel so happy. It's been a long time.

Yes, WE are a "couple".

He told them. Well, he told two of the boys and apparently they are all in disbelief that they didn't work it out sooner... one of the boys kept pausing for thought and repetitively saying "you sly dog, how did i not see this??" and have already started planning "couples" holidays - lol.

I feel a little relieved, as although i was personally happy to wait for things to settle down for a few weeks, Mada has found his testicles and made the first move in letting people know that we are "together". I'm good with that, I don't want a big drama, just let things fall into place.

It's weird, i don't really feel any different. Leaving his house and kissing him goodbye feels as natural as anything. I guess it's been a long time coming and inside, I've always felt like he was mine and now, not only i will know...

:)

It's not WHAT you know, it's WHO you know

Feeling much more positive and upbeat today after a fantastic day with my Sister yesterday. We ran 5 miles around Virginia Waters (I forgot just HOW beautiful it is there) followed by a pub lunch in the sun.

The weather here is gorgeous, which helps make the move back that much easier. We burnt our noses and shoulders would you believe.

In the afternoon we went shopping which was torturous (I resisted to buying anything - even a dress in Oasis which was reduced to £25!! Gargh!).

In the evening we went to her apartment and Billy ate with us. It was so cool for the 3 of us to be back together. My two favourite people to be with :)

We talked about my plans and Billy kindly offered to call his Brother who is Head of the 2nd top school in Surrey. I am now scheduled to go and meet him (date TBC) to get some help on teaching courses and who knows, maybe he'll be able to offer me a Teaching Assistant post at his school, starting in September or recommend me for another school. I can only hope and pray.

If i can get a post as a TA (Teacher Assistant) this means I can apply for my Mortgage as if you work for the Government there are special "deals" you can get. Then, I could go to college NEXT year once I have my mortgage and apartment. I think realistically I'll need to get a second job - but I don't mind, I'm use to hard work.

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but i sincerely hope not. Just think, that would give me about 8 weeks of summer to play with/ get a part time job/ go to Africa for a few weeks and then I could press on with LIFE in September.

Exciting...

Today the weather is spanking once again. So luckily my Sister has 2 days off work back to back, so we are taking a roadtrip down to Bournemouth Beach together - :) Best go pack up my bag, including my SLR so I can get some good shots and show my friends back in KL and HK that the UK isn't so bad either ;)

The Mutherland

The moment I stepped off the plane, I burst into tears. I knew why, I was thinking "what the FUCK am i doing" but I tried to convince myself that they were tears of joy to be back...

It's my second day back in the UK. So far I have achieved the following:

- Ate Hovis with CLOVER butter and Marmalade
- Attempted to get a credit card however discovered that you can't get one if you are "unemployed" (whoops).
- Got insured on the car
- Got a phone contract and a really cool phone (a bit like an I phone) its called (something) Magic and it's white... here's a picture:
- Joined the gym - £40 per month - waaaah!
- Saw BUTDUNC yay!!!
- Saw my Shrub and Billy :):):)
- Had sexy time with Mada (don't have the strength to blog about him right now)
- Saw Pelly and his Mum asked me when I'm going to marry her Son so I could be her daughter in law - haha awh :)
- Ran 5K at the new gym
- Had an AMAZING cut and colour (my hair is finally restored to its natural beauty) at £80!! BAH!
- Visited my uber cool Gran

A busy two days. It sort of feels like how it usually does when I'm back for a week or so. The reality hasn't really set in yet... it will do in time I guess.

Tomorrow I'm off to buy my double bed and see some more friends and then on Monday I'll start the "JOB HUNT"... I suppose...

So Long... Farewell...

No matter what people say, I can confirm that saying goodbye to loved ones is undoubtedly one of the hardest parts of my life. In the last 4 years I've had to continuously say goodbyes and seeyoulaters to my family and friends in the UK, America, Hong Kong and Kuala Lumpur.

After a farewell meal on Wednesday night (complete with an engraved cocktail shaker, a framed photo and recipies for Malaysian dishes)! The "Laksa Crew" gave me a true Malaysian farewell by all rocking up at the airport :)

There I was in my "I (HEART) Malaysia" t shirt having a fit over my excess baggage fee (don't even GO there)and they stood by offering suggestions (thanks Bombies) and lending a hand (thanks JoycenochinesemiddlenameLim).

Eventually we made it to our Chocolate Fudge sundae and took a few snaps and had a final natter. As i said good bye I remained composed until I hugged Mr J (of all people! Haha!) The tears started coming and then, yes, I hugged my ickle Bombie and the two of us just stood, in each others arms absolutely sobbing, like babies!!!

Eventually I pulled myself away - all the while, Mr J was filming (haha - you poo) and i made my way down to passport control. As i looked back one final time they all stood at the balcony above me. I yelled up (in possibly the loudest voice ever) "I LOVE YOU!" and they all yelled something back - possibly i love you too?? But either way, whatever it was (i couldn't hear due to the acoustics of the airport) I heard giggles and byes and I walked away.

I sobbed waiting for the plane, i sobbed on the plane, I sobbed when I landed. Only today have I really started to compose myself.

I never realised I was THAT loved. I never realised that I LOVED my friends THAT much either.

I love you guys and i love YOU the most... and you know who you are ;)

Take it & Go!

WHAT an exhausting day!

It all started by me 'missing' my TWO alarm clocks and waking up too late to meet a friend for breakfast and for my dentist appointment to have my braces REMOVED - can you believe it???

Eventually I made it to the dentist and had the braces taken off, retainer fitted and teeth whitened. I have to say after all the build up over coming months I was neither here nor there about it at the time. My teeth don't look extraordinarily different to how they did before, but upon smiling in the mirror (pretty much all afternoon) and looking through the photo album that the practice put together for me I really do see all the technicalities and changes.

Overall everything looks tighter, neater and brighter - it looks good. I'm happy. I'm pretty certain it was money well spent, although I am in a little discomfort this evening - everything feels a little sensitive and soar. Hopefully that will ease in a few days. If it doesn't then it's probably just because the dentist has totally fucked up my teeth with the rush of it all and they will all fall out and I'll have dentures put in - great!!

This afternoon/ evening I have desperately tried to pack as the removal dudes arrive at 930 AM (I will set 2 alarms, plus bombies is going to give me a wake up call if she remembers - please remember!! haha.)

Bombies and Jude dropped by as i had a shed load of stuff to give them, Bombies helped me throw out 3 bags of "products" from my bathroom in about 5 minutes and then we went for dinner. Once I got back, Kiwi came over and helped out a bit. Took photos of me in my state of "panic" and I played dress up with him (making him wear my jewelry etc). He gave me a bit of light relief so it was good of them all to pop by.

Now it's 02.00am and Kiwi just made a check up call on me. I'm totally spent and sleepy. So I'm gonna do the following in the morning:

- decide which shoes to pack/ ship
- Pack MAC - bye bye computer :(
- put one box aside for "last minute" bits
- Write my insurance itinerary (God help me)

Hopefully all will go smoothly and whatever gets left behind will just have to be chucked!!

Right, time to sleep. I will finish off blogging about my braces etc next week once I'm back in the UK, don't get me wrong, I'm REALLY enthusiastic about it - I'm just really really tired!!!

night night, sleep tight.

Bombies

Awh, Bombies has been excited for weeks about giving me my birthday present (which, by the way, i was convinced was a pony) ;) but it wasn't, it was better, a beautiful bracelet that shows our friendship in just one word... I absolutely love it :)

Run to The Beat

I will be entering this race alongside my Shrub on the 27th September this year.

Live bands and recorded music will be played around the 13.1 mile/ 21.2 km (half marathon) track. The race starts at the O2 and goes all around greenwich, ending back at the O2 arena.

I think it's going to be a really fun event and I'm looking forward to crossing the finish line with a friend - that will be a first!

We're going to start training at the running course around Virginia Waters, once I'm back in the UK, every Saturday - followed by Pub Grub - who could ask for more?

For more information, you can visit the site www.runtothebeat.co.uk

Womoan

Was having lunch with Bombie earlier. We were in two minds whether to meet up for a quick bite (I say bite, we had fruit smoothies) as we were both in foul moods and tired. We sat for a while, Bombie, quiet, me, trying to justify why i was so moody, it went something like this:

Me - I'm due on, maybe I've got PMT...
B- Yeh, probably (dazed)
Me- I'm really tired from the run though, it's probably that...
B - Yeh, could be (staring into space)
Me - I dunno why i feel so moody though, I just want to lie on my sofa and eat pizza...
B - Yeh, me too (pupils turned into pizza shaped pupils)
Me - Hang on, we're women, we don't need to JUSTIFY our moodiness! We can just BE moody - with no explanation required!
B - Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! (nearly fell off her seat with the very thought)

We laughed, because it's true. Being a woman is our 'get out' card that we can play to justify our disgraceful behaviour at any time. This is genius. Why have we never used it to our ADVANTAGE before??

And then we continued to slag off everything about the world and complain about how fat we were.

In the end, it turned out to be a pretty normal lunch, not much different from a regular day.