Leave me alone

Everything is an effort. Although I'm happy, everything seems so tiresome and hard work. Even when I'm at my happiest, I get accused of being moody or irritable or erratic. Which I am, all three, but trying very hard not to be.

Even when I'm smiling I get told it's a fake smile. Sometimes it is, but inside there is a real smile trying to come out. When you wind me up just for kicks it pisses me off. When I try to do something nice because i care, it comes across as not being genuine.

I know who i am, stop trying to make me be someone i'm not. I can look after myself, I have always looked after myself. Even all those years before i went away, I was never looked after, i always supported myself. I might not have done it well, I might have mucked up along the way, but inevitably i got there.

I know you care but stop making me feel so useless. I know what I'm doing, everything will work out. Stop pressuring me, let me do what I want, let me live my own life. I can't report to you, you do not own me. I can respect you but I will not live the life of a child - i do not need nurturing. I need to be left alone.

Give me some space, let me breathe.

In other words, just occasionally, fuck off and leave me alone.

Thanks.