Fun At The Circus

I was emailing H first thing this morning, telling him what I'd been up to lately.

Work has been really demanding and I am currently going through a "OMG I hate my job" phase (it comes and goes every month or so, lasts about a week etc, no big deal).

One of the reasons I find it hard is because I find it difficult to switch off. Even when I met Bombies for lunch yesterday I found myself very distracted and hard to concentrate on the conversation just because thoughts were whizzing through my mind of what I need to do or how I am going to do something.

Last night I needed to get out of the office quick smart to beat the traffic as I only have limited days in which I can train as my recovery after a big run is about 2days. I knew if I didn't run tonight I would miss out on a session, thus delaying my progress.

As I left the office I was really stressed as I hadn't done half the things I wanted to. But as soon as I was running, I forgot all about it. One of the reasons why I love running so much is that it completely clears my mind. No matter how exhausted I am (mentally or physically) running completely rejuvenates my mind, body and soul. I sleep like a baby pretty much every night because of it. It is my only stress relief at the moment (Tell me again why I quit smoking? Gargh!)

I spent three hours at the gym last night, I ran for an hour and a half (my knees really hurt today, despite the fact that I sat with ice on them afterwards, am taking cod liver oil and anti inflammatory) and then after a short break trained with my PT for over an hour on upper body and abs. To say I ache is an understatement.

He weighed me in at 56K AGAIN - why can't I get down to my target of 54K?? He said it's because I refuse to compromise my diet - it's true. I'd rather be 2K over my target weight and eat whatever the hell I want than be at my target but deprive myself of lattes, pizza, ben & jerrys, magi mee, laksa.. oh the list goes on. I explained to my PT, you know, my body isn't designed this way. I am supposed to be FAT. This is not my "natural" shape. He told me I should thank God for that, I was like eh? Why? He was a bit inconsiderate giving me the "fat" gene. He said I should thank Him for giving me the motivation to work out so hard. I said no, I thank my company for paying me enough that I can afford YOU to motivate me!! haha.

Anyway, what I'm really blogging about is how hard it is to make time in our lives for everything we want.

Last month I had to juggle:

work, sport, love, social

Now I am just juggling:

work, sport, social

But once I start working at the radio I will have to juggle:

work, sport, hobby, social

But I also would like 2009 to include

work, sport, hobby, social and love

My question is this - if I managed to fit work, sport, social and love in my life before, how is it that I am struggling with just work, sport and social now? And now I want to add hobby - it should equate to that of my lifestyle last month - yet I see it impossible that I will be able to balance so much.

Is it possible that ten years from now I could have work, sport, hobby, social, love and CHILDREN?? hahaha - impossible! Surely!

So my point is this. Hu. I actually don't think I have a point. But I think what I'm saying is that everybody adjusts themselves to fit the life style they truly desire-if you want to have a fulfilled life you just HAVE to make it work.

No matter how stressed I get trying to balance everything I am a person who needs to be continuously occupied. My MD in the UK has a motto: "Stress is good". I use to hate it when she said it but I realised that I actually perform better as a person under pressure/ demand/ time constraint/ target. Well, sometimes. Therefore, I will take on the impossible.

Because, all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy.

It also makes Bubs a very dull girl.