Workin' 9-5 (what a way to make a livin')

Buggerations. I'd been keeping a blog the good old fashioned way (quill and ink)whilst on holiday in Krabi last week and wanted to type it up whilst I have some free time this afternoon. However, I'm sitting in Delicious and just had a rather tasty salad and my note book is somewhere in my apartment.

Well in a nutshell, it seems that the holiday was just what I needed to put everything into perspective (love life not included in the "everything" nutshell!).

I am finally admitting to myself that my job is not for me. Whilst it has served a purpose and given me the opportunity to experience a wonderful life changing few years, i feel it's time to move on.

I have never slept so much in my life, finally, i was relaxed and literally at every opportunity i passed out - on the beach, in the hotel room, on a boat, in the bus, on the plane, even in bars! Poor BD, I clearly was no company for her! But it proved to me that I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. It's time to get out.

Whilst I say I'm "stressed" and probably overuse that term somewhat, I realise that I do tend to generate my own stress. Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, although my job is "stressful" I doubt I help the situation. I know the job isn't right for me, I've always known that, but it's been everything around it that I've loved.

The reason I haven't given up is because I don't like to fail at anything I do. And for a year + I have been going back and forth deliberating should I stay or should i go? Knowing full well I should go. So i have decided that I am going to leave, but it's just deciding when. And I realise that choosing to leave isn't failing - i have tried my hardest to make it work.

If I complete my contract (Dec 2009) I gain the following:

- I will have served my contract in full (so for future employment I can explain that my contract ended rather than I left)
- I get a MYR 30,000 bonus.
- My flight back to the UK will be paid for (should I wish to return)
- Repatriation of my personal belongings
- I get to stay in Malaysia for one more full year

If I leave before (I need to give minimum 3 months notice)

- There is a chance I will have to leave Malaysia for good
- None of the above points apply

Really, the repat points above don't matter as I wish to stay here but I have to consider them in my options. The trouble is getting a visa in Malaysia is hard in the areas that I want to work in (i.e NOT insurance!) so, I know I need to take everything slowly and think long and hard before handing in my resignation.

It's so funny to think that I hated Malaysia when I moved here and now it feels more like home than any other place in the world.

BD and I made a list of all the things I would consider when it comes to employment, they are the following:

- Travel
- Non office based (or mixture of out and in)
- people facing
- no maths or excel!
- Children
- Media/ entertainment/ PR
- counseling
- theatre/ radio
- production and broadcasting
- writing
- project work (i.e under developed country)
- creative team
- TEFL
- fitness and health
- Make up (stage)

So where do I go from here? I guess I need to look at jobs where I can use one or more of these interests and apply accordingly - sounds so easy doesn't it? Well... that's my 2009 project. For now, I'm just gonna ride out the end of 2008 and see what the New Year brings.