Sleeping on my Friendships

I keep falling asleep at the wheel. It happened again this morning, I was going along very slowly as the traffic was busy. I was probably only going 30K but suddenly my eyes jerked open and my heart skipped a beat, I realised I'd just nodded off.

I sleep like a baby but I think I'm just mentally drained. That's the only explanation. I physically can't fit any more time in to sleep, in fact, I don't have time to sleep! Even if I come home straight from work its usually already 8 pm+. And if I work out first then its 9pm+. I need at least 2 hours to mellow out, eat, do some errands, shower and get ready for the next day.

I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining, I'm mearly blogging. Last night a friend text me saying that I should realise how "lucky" I am and that perhaps I've had my eyes shut for too long to the people around me and their circumstances and that I should basically appreciate what I have more. That really hurt. Because, despite all my woes, throughout my life, I have always prided myself on being a good friend to others. And if someone believes I'm not, then that hurts me bad.

But on the flip side, perhaps I have (OK I know I have) become too self involved of late. I'm so wrapped out in sorting out my own crap, perhaps I can't see the wood through the trees. I need to change my perspective, I need to get positive.

Just give me time OK, I'm trying. And if I have been a bad friend to you I'm sorry. I love all of my friends, and I want to be there for each and everyone one of them. Because everybody needs a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and words to make you smile.

So please be patient with your friend, who I trust has never failed you before and is trying her best not to fail you now or in the future.