10 things i hate about couples...

1) WEeing. What is with couples who refer to themselves as one person "WE did this at the weekend" ok that's fine, but then "WE think this..." That is what annoys me the most. Do couples not think Independtly any more? Stop weeing all over the place. You are an individual person at the end of the day.

2) Couples that FEEL SORRY for single people. At EVERY opportunity they try and hook you up with anything that moves. "Ooooh I saw you talking to that guy, he's nice looking, did you get his number?". Gragh! Are us single monsters not allowed to talk to a member of the opposite sex without falling in love with them?

3) PDA - public displays of affection. Happy for you to hold hands, exchange "knowing smiles" cuddle and share the odd affectionate kiss but don't start talking "lovey dovey" and touch each other in an inappropriate and excessively intimate way in front of me. i feel uncomfortable, embarrassed and also, I don't know where to look. Mah.



4) Revisiting point one. You CAN have your own individual friends. If you ask me to hang out with you (and only you) then fine. But YOU is not BOTH of you. I don't want to discuss my evening of hot passionate kinky sex or my broken heart in front of your partner who i barely know. If you don't want to see me on your own then just say (recent incident where a friend has said we never hang out the two of us and then when i organise a nice afternoon she says "oh do you mind if *partner* comes as... and then comes up with a stupid excuse. YOU asked ME for girl time, not the other way around! I'm quite happy to do that but don't make excuses, just be honest dammit. My point is this, if we are arranging something just the two of us can your "other half" entertain himself for a measly hour?

5) Other half. I don't need to write more.

6) Cards. Stop giving me cards from the both of you, you cheeky gits! Its obvious that only one party can be ARSED to organise it. I give you INDIVIDUAL cards and CELEBRATE your friendship individually, so do so the same with me :( (to be honest, i think this is just the way of the world and i too will probably do this one day).

7) If I haven't seen you in 6 months don't have this conversation with me:

you: "hey! long time no see! How are you?"
me: "Oh i'm good thanks yeh.. bla bla"
you: "Found yourself a man yet?"
me: (and i always use the same old jokey/ defensive line) "no i'm still footloose and fancy free!" (SMILE)
you: "oh, don't worry, I'm sure Mr Right is out there somewhere!"

Erm, yeh I am too but THANKS for your reassurance. YOU DICK HEAD.

OK there are actually only 7 points, I'm sure if I were a couple my other half would help me think of a few more and we could tell you about these together :P