Love Lost

I think that old saying is true, when you stop looking, then suddenly, you are in demand.

Have been trying really hard (as sad as it sounds) not to socialise with new groups of friends as this happened in HK before I left and it made it even harder to go, having found more friends.

It's kinda the same with men. I met this really hot guy it Zouk a couple of weeks back. He called and asked me out and I kind of blew him off. I mean, I was busy but i could have tried harder to see him. And the weird thing was i totally digged him. I guess i was just a bit scared. I freak out when guys like me and i never know what to do. Hidden behind all the dirty sex talk is still quite a naive, shy girl.

Then there is this broker i liked the moment i set eyes on but he seemed kinda shy and uninterested so i didn't bother doing anything about it (not quite sure what i would have done anyway). so then today, he emails me this:



I was sorry not to see you last night with the others, guess you're the sensible one.

I also heard you plan to leave KL and was disappointed to hear that also.

Let me know if you have time sometime, I would like to buy you coffee.



Hhhmm. I only met him a few times to discuss clients and made small talk in the lift (we work in the same building). Is this a chat up or just friendly i wonder?

The others he was referring to were my two new larger louts in the office. Both of which are cute and both of which I'd quite happily date if the opportunity had of arisen. I didn't go out with them because, well I was supposed to be seeing KiwiBoy but also... I'm kind of afraid to enjoy new company... because i think deep down inside I'm scared I've made the wrong decision to leave.

On the other hand, I'm also scared that I'll fall for one of these guys. Despite how much i moan to Bombies and ND and H about how desperate I am to get laid, deep inside, i really just wanna wait for Mada... it's been 8 years... surely I can hold on for another 5 weeks?