I feel your pain

Today was interesting. Shrek was visiting from Perth and so after dinner and drinks last night with a few friends we decided to go Wake boarding today.

I picked him up from his hotel at 10am and we drove up to the Mines Resort, the sun was out, we had iced lattes in the car, the music blaring and the windows down and whizzed down the empty highway of KL.

I've only wake boarded once before, but I use to ski, today I spent my whole time boarding and managed to master a few tricks like going out on the wake, turns, board grabbing etc - well it was a good start. I only stacked it a few times and fuck me did it hurt. But having skied before I know that you just have to laugh it off and get straight back up again. I'll suffer the consequences tomorrow no doubt, at present I can't turn my neck to even check my blind spot when driving - whoops.

Shrek is an awesome boarder and can do jumps and twists, wish I could be that good! Shame none of my friends here are remotely sporty as its quite expensive to do it for an hour on your own (plus you'd be exhausted)! I forgot how much I loved this sport. Maybe even more than running... is that possible???

After boarding and a well deserved beer, we went back to his hotel pool and ate lunch, swam and sunbathed.

We had a heart to heart which continued on until later in the night after we had dinner with friends again and we sat in the car outside his hotel for quite a while. Basically Shrek is in exactly the same position as me, he feels like he doesn't belong and he is searching for that special someone to complete him, but he just can't seem to make it work. He's 38.

Shrek is an awesome guy, he's fun, he's sexy and a downright good person but I can't help but wonder why he can't hold down a girl. Perhaps he's a great friend but a shit boyfriend? Who knows.

And whilst I sat there talking about Mada and wondering aloud to him if I was letting love pass by me, tears welled up in his eyes. I felt so bad, here's me at 25 harping on about being so unlovable and unable to make a relationship work in the last 3 years, whilst he's sitting next to me telling me he's concerned by the time he does find the right women he may  have fertility problems. I chose to shut up and just listen after that.

I suddenly realised that there is someone out there who is feeling the same level of loneliness as me. I truly hope Shrek finds someone, he's there willing to give love but the pieces in his life just don't seem to fit. 

Shrek, if you can make a girls life anyway half as fun as the day I had with you, then you'd make just a fine boyfriend to anyone.

I called Mada on my way home, it dawned on me that after the chat I missed him and wanted to hear his voice. I heard his voice, on his voicemail. Then I hung up.