Completely & Utterly mortified!

Oh my Dear God. The worst thing in the world just happened to me!!!

Just so you have the full story, when at lunch with A&F today i ordered a latte. They had no skimmed milk so I thought never mind, i'll have a regular one. After i drank it i remember saying to A&F that the drink made me feel a bit "ergh" and perhaps it was too creamy for me.

For the rest of the afternoon i felt a bit nauseous but thought nothing of it and came home and had a nap to sleep it off. I felt OK, got ready and went to Phutre (club) with friends.

As i stood drinking a vodka lemonade i said to my friend that i felt a bit sick and was gonna go to the toilet for a while, i sat on the loo aimlessly looking around the cubicle waiting for the feeling to pass but slowly sweat started to trickle down my back and me knowing how my body works, knew that in no time i was going to be sick but nothing happened.

I pulled myself together, ran my hands under the cold water, re applied my lip gloss (which I found in my bathroom btw (lost it last week)) and went out to the club. I stood drinking water and turned to my friend and said that i ought to go and he said yeh you look a bit pale let me walk you out.

As i turned to go, suddenly, i thought FUCK i'm going to be sick, NOW. I turned to him all flustered shouting "Shit! Shit! I'm gonna be sick! Quick! WHERE???" But it was all too late. I quickly turned to what I thought was a dark corner and threw up all over my pretty (dry clean only) dress, my legs, my feet, and of course the clubs newly refurbished carpets and wall. oh. my. god. My life, is officially, over.

I stayed crouched whilst my friend who very sweetly held back my hair ran to grab tissues whilst people walked by yelling "ahaha stupid drunk white girl!" MORTIFIED!!!!! It's not like I could say "Actually, I'm sober but i don't usually take full fat milk!!!" Aiya!

As it transpires I was not only in the corner of the club but a WALK WAY between clubs but not only that, I had chosen to puke... Under... a spot light!!!!

I looked up at my friend saying what shall i do (and carried on yelling shit! shit! shit) and he just said quick get up just make a run for it so out we went with sick still coming out of my nose and on my hands (more mortified-ness) outside i felt better but was so traumatised by the whole ordeal that i choose to drive home, where I have subsequently just puked again, but this time, in my toilet.

I will never, ever, set foot inside that club again. Nor will I ever drink full fat milk/ cream/ lattes.